Ahhhh

My Daughter Elisse started middle school this year( and in case anyone was wondering it hasn't changed a bit). She goes to a great school, one I could only dream of attending at her age. She is a "gifted" (hate that term but it is what it is) student, takes all advanced classes and makes good grades. I tell her this is a part of her problem, she is to damn smart for her own good. She has a hard time relating to the cattyness of the other girls, she has more of a hippy-ish live and let live attitude which is not very common among 11 year old girls. I love that about her. I guess the point of this post is I have no idea what I'm doing. I was just a kid myself when I had her. I remember the exact moment we met, I was alone in my room, in my heart, in my life. Her Dad had left me, freaked out by the prospect of parenting I guess. I had just gotten off the phone with him, it was not a pleasant phone call and it finally hit me that it was truly over and I was in fact doing this on my own. It was the darkest, scariest moment of my life, I literally hit rock bottom. I laid on the floor and just cried and cried.......and then she kicked me. I sat up and she kicked again. I had a feeling wash over me that there are no words to describe, it was as close to heaven as I have ever been. In a moment I went from hysterical crying to jubilant laughing, it wasn't about me anymore, it was about us. She made it easy, she was a great baby, not so terrible toddler and very easy going kid. As we approach the teenage years I am filled with anxiety about screwing her up. I watch news shows and court tv not for the latest scoop but more as a manuel on how not to raise a drunk/druggie/murderer. I always think "what did those parents do wrong? " Okay so even if I have all the felonies covered how do I prevent the misdemeanors? This parenting stuff is hard, I hope I figure it out before it's too late...